Here are some ideas:  Every day I will:

*Drink 48 oz water
*Sit by the Christmas tea with a cup of tea for at least 15 minutes
*Eat a dark leafy green
*Go for a 15 minute walk
*Phone a friend
*Get to bed on time
*Read for pleasure for 30 minutes
*Listen to or make some great music
*Drink one less cup of coffee and one more cup of tea
*Make a list of the day’s blessings
*Pray or meditate
*Take my vitamins
*Deliberately do a kind deed for someone

Are you in?   

IF YES, you need to consider a few things to be successful:

1. Decide what you want to do, and put it in writing.  Pick something that you know you can do, set yourself up for success!
2. Create some accountability for yourself by telling me, a friend, facebook, posting a chart on the fridge, etc…

I’d love to hear what you are doing, so leave a comment on this blog!

There are lots of charts on the internet you can print out to track your progress. HERE is one example of a chart you can use (scroll down for link to free pdf).

Sometimes we do need a kick.  Sometimes we need kindness.  So how do we decide, kindness or a kick?

We may need kindness if:

• we know we have a tendency to be hard on ourselves, or others
• we rarely take time for play or rest
• we feel anxious, stressed or crabby
• we have very little “pause” in our day
• we tend to over blame ourselves when things go wrong
• we have trouble noticing or celebrating progress
• we have circumstances in our life that are truly challenging
• our motto is work, then play
• in our heart of hearts, we know we are doing the best we can

We may need a kick if:

• we have a tendency to be tender-hearted, easy on ourselves and others
• our “leisure” muscles are quite developed
• we feel lethargic, depressed, stuck
• we are very skilled at watching television
• distractions are a real problem
• we hear ourselves making the same excuses over and over
• we let ourselves off the hook easily
• it’s always the circumstances, and never us
• our motto is “I’ll get around to it.”
• in our heart of hearts, we know we can do better

There is a saying that says “Activity conquers cold, stillness conquers heat,” which is a more sophisticated way of asking “kick? or kindness?”

The truth is, both can actually be ways of being kind to yourself.   So even if you kick, kick kindly.

It can feel like a either/or situation: take care of me or take care of others.

I empathize with this dilemma.   After all, aren’t we supposed to put others’ needs before our own? Honestly, it can really feel selfish spending an hour at the gym instead of helping out with homework, housework or soccer practice.

How I answer this dilemma for myself is this: I take care of myself, so that I can forget about myself and focus on others. Stay with me here.  When I do what I can to eat right, get enough sleep, exercise, live a balanced life pretty consistently (not perfectly) I feel good.  When I feel good, I am not focused on myself, and how (tired, crabby, bloated, etc) I feel.  In fact my awareness of myself is almost non existent.  I am not thinking with every step, “my knee hurts,  my back aches.”  I am not in gastric distress from a fast food lunch which will probably make me snap at my coworkers.  I don’t have to think through every potential hurdle I may encounter through the day (will the chair hold me?  will there be stairs to navigate? can I walk that far?).

Can you see the self-obsession here?

Actually, we can potentially be MORE available to love, serve and show up in life.  “Go for a hike as a family?  Sure!”  “Help you move out of your apartment?  Yes!”  “Need a listening ear?  Absolutely!”

Feeling crummy in our body is like a really bad toothache.  It’s pretty hard to ignore. As a result, we become self consumed, withdrawn and miserable.

For me exercising in the morning fits the bill beautifully.  I get ‘er done, and honestly don’t give myself much thought the rest of the day.  I am ready, willing and able to show up and serve in any capacity.  Whatever time works for you, don’t over think, just commit and get ‘er done!

Can I have a ride, Nana?

Take care of you SO THAT you can take care of others.

It is more blessed to give than receive.  Jesus

Ready?

Be Consistent.

That’s it.  It’s very simple.  And very hard.

There is something very old fashioned about consistency.  It brings to mind my grandpa, day in day out, putting on his hat and his overcoat and going to work.  Or my grandmother, always in her apron,  making us ham and jello with celery in it.  Or my father, meticulously grooming our lawn on Saturday mornings.

In fact, when I think of consistency, I notice my mind goes back a generation, because looking around it is harder to find.

Nowadays, we can make a meal in a minute, send a text in seconds, buy a gift with a click of a mouse.

What is the cost of doing more things less well?

We have the attention span of a cocker spaniel, and lose focus very, very easily.  We want things RIGHT THIS MINUTE.  We attempt to forgo the process for the results.

The cost is loss of character.

Woody Allen said “90% of life is just showing up.”

Consistency is just showing up.

You may not bat 1000 every time, but at least step up to the plate.  And step up as often as you can.

Consistency, and not force, will get you where you want to go (remember the tortise and the hare?)

Dang it! I muttered as I stumbled down the stairs at 4:30 am, hitting my recently sprained toe on shoes I had placed at the bottom, hoping they would magically migrate north to my closet.  I scratched at flea bites on my arm, tripped over my grandson’s high chair, and made my way to the front porch.  I hissed loudly (and unkindly) at my dog Gina to quit doing what dogs do, which is bark at unseen things in the wee hours.  Gina usually sleeps inside, but because of her house guests (fleas!), she had been banished to the porch.   It had been a long week.  I really, really wanted a good night’s sleep.  “Sheesh,”  I said aloud to my sorry self. ” Why can’t I catch a break?”

But even as I said that, that calm, reasonable voice inside me said, “Eileen, breaks aren’t caught–they are made.”

I immediately realized the import of that.  Sometimes I forget, and feel like I am caught in the vortex of my life, as if some tornado has swooped down out of the blue, rendering me helpless and flailing. I pictured my local weather man, arms swooping east and west,  explaining that tornadoes are caused by weather systems colliding.  (Seinfeld fans know what happened to George when his worlds collided…)  I wasn’t a victim of happenstance.  I had created the very reality I found myself standing in.  After an abbreviated pity party, I took stock.

• I was the one that didn’t take an extra minute to take my shoes upstairs
• I neglected to do what was necessary to prevent the flea infestation
• I hurt my toe because I didn’t take the time to find my shoes before I went in the yard (and fell in a small hole–blame husband here).  Come to think of it, my shoes were probably on the stairs.

What is the point of this sad tale?  The point is we don’t catch breaks–we make them. I have many clients who rank getting healthy as very important, but their actions don’t evidence this.  Their life is a whirlwind,  and they feel  helpless to make their health a priority.  “As soon as the kids are back in school,” or “when the holidays are over,” or “when my company leaves,” or my favorite, “when my life settles down.”

We have created and ranked the activity in our life.  We have created a weather system of flailing furry.

Once I am willing to admit I have created my present situation by my own choices, I am ready to take responsibility for my life.  (Notice I said responsibility and not BLAME.  Blame is where we go when all we want to do is feel bad and stay stuck.)  Taking responsibility is actually very empowering.  It also feels like a very grown up thing to do.

So shifting from pitiful to powerful I will:

• Deflea the dog
• Commit to spending 15 min a day picking up around the house as part of my bedtime routine
• Go to be earlier tonight and tomorrow to catch up on sleep

You deserve a break today.  So make one for yourself.

An object at rest especially needs extra effort to overcome inertia.
(Which is why the beginning of anything is hard.)
Think of a swing, a bike, a canoe.
Legs stretching, pumping, back and forth.
Big strokes of the pedals.
Arms straining, pulling, rowing.

My little craft, in this big river called Life.
Sometimes I have to row pretty hard.
But I also like to remember the undercurrent.
The Cosmic Life Force.
God.
Supporting me.
Upholding me.
Gently propelling me.
I am not alone, dependent on my easily depleted gumption.

I can coast, sometimes.

And, although it is scary because it feels like I am not working,
The fact is: I’m still moving.
I’m moving even while resting.

I’m learning to enjoy coasting.

Quantity is King.

I’d like to propose there is another way to value food.  We can value food by its QUALITY. Foods that are of higher quality cost more and are smaller portioned.  To quantity thinking, this is a ripoff.  If you’ve ever traveled abroad with the average American, they become very irate at the portion sizes of most European eats and beverages.  Yet, this is the very thing that keeps the French thin, even though they regularly eat things like croissants, cheese, chocolate and wine.  Higher quality, smaller quantity.

Sometimes we may experience a little internal resistance in this area.  When challenged to upgrade our nutrition, we find we run smack dab into deep-seated frugality.  It’s hard at first to pay more for organic milk, meat, eggs or produce.  In our minds, we classify our purchases as “expensive.”    I propose that most “cheap” food is not cheap at all, because in the long run, it will cost us a great deal.  It will cost us our priceless health.

In my opinion, to be successful at weight loss, there needs to be a paradigm shift.  We need to measure the value of food by its QUALITY vs its QUANTITY.  Quality food tastes better and is more satisfying, both to the palate and in its nutritional value.   So we find we eat better, we eat less, and we enjoy it more.

A win-win on all counts.  Now that’s value!

The bulk of life, I am convinced, is maintenance.  Maintaining, I am sorry to say, is not nearly so invigorating as beginning.

Whether you’ve spent 3 hours cleaning out a closet or your inbox, an entire weekend working on a relationship or your garden, or an hour at the gym, the truth is such things are oblivious to homeostasis, and will require your diligence sooner rather than later.   To quote one of my favorite poems, The Station, there is no one place to arrive at once and for all– “The Station is an illusion–it constantly outdistances us.”  Your house will never be completely  clean.  Neither will your inbox.  Weeds grow really fast.  So does your waistline.

Have you ever seen one of those acts where many plates are kept spinning on thin spindles–the performer races from one to the next with the goal of all the plates spinning at the same time?  This also is an illusion.  You will never get to the point in your life where all the plates are spinning smoothly–that is, your health is excellent, your lawn is mowed, your spouse and kids adore you, your work is satisfying, your investments are sound, you have glowing skin and a great haircut, your golf swing has never been better, and you are sleeping so well you have time to go to your book club AND volunteer for your favorite cause.

The reality is, some plates will be spinning, some will be wobbly, and some, despite your best efforts, will crash into a million pieces at your feet.

Insert Deep Breath.

The secret lies in knowing which are the most important plates to keep spinning at this particular point of your life.  You may need to remove a few, delegate a few, and even (gasp!) let a few crash.   I am convinced that it is not lack of willpower that prevents us from reaching our goals, so much as a lack of focus, AKA too many plates spinning at once.

Less plates=easier maintenance.   To eliminate snow shoveling, move to Tucson.

If you are overweight, and have a hard time losing weight, I suspect you may be undernourished in one of three ways.  One:  you aren’t getting the proper quantity of food.  Two:  you aren’t getting the proper quality of food.  Three:  Your soul is starving.

Ironically, if you don’t eat enough calories for your body, you will NOT lose weight.  My clients protest vehemently upon seeing a suggested menu, “This is too much food!”  I patiently ask them to trust me, and they return in two weeks having lost a significant amount of weight.  The body is equipped with a magnificent survival mechanism.  It is the same mechanism that kept our ancestors alive through famines, plagues and holocausts.  In order to protect against starvation, your metabolic system becomes very efficient, throttling down to a bare minimum.   A low calorie diet is counterproductive.

Secondly, you may be  starving yourself nutritionally.  Your body is desperate to get the nutrients it needs.  It doesn’t take a lot of broccoli to get your daily Vitamin C, but it takes a whole lot of cheese doodles.  If you insist on fueling your machine with cheese doodles, your body, in deep resignation, will crave lots of them.  Empty calories=too much food=weight gain.

Thirdly, what you may not realize on a conscious level is that what you are really hungry for is not food.  You want peace, not potato chips.  You want fufillment, not fudge.  You want companionship, not cookies.  Getting in touch with what you are really hungry for is critical to reducing the stress hormones that keep you fat and the emotional eating that doesn’t begin to touch the hunger of your soul.  What are you REALLY hungry for?

Remember:  STARVING + DEPRIVATION ≠ WEIGHT LOSS.  The body is not a calculator, but a complex system of organs and hormones and glands affected by the quantity of food you eat, the quality of  food you eat, and the wellness of your soul.

Be well.

I always begin my sessions by daring my clients to hope, and hope they do.   It is the steady undercurrent of hope that draws them against the tide of their own doubts.  The tide of past diets failed.  The tide of unkind words and childhood wounds.   The tide of self-sabotage.  The tide of social sabotage.  The tide of I’m just too tired/old/fat to do this.  The tide of lies and half-truths.

Yep, they fall, and stumble.  They sometimes eat cookies in the pantry.  Or cake at the office.  Or beers at a party.  Sometimes they forget to eat.  Are too tired to move.  Too discouraged to care.

Sometimes they lose sight of the goal, because in the now it is just plain hard.  Learning to take care of ourselves is harder than we thought.

Keep your eyes on the goal, says the coach.  Keep your eyes on the goal.  It’s ok to fall, just don’t stay down.  Gently, ever so gently, brush yourself off.  Take a deep breath.  You can do this.

I know this, because I have watched you, with great pride.  I relish every little victory, because really, there are no little victories.  Do what you can, then do a little more.  The finish line is just around the bend.  The band is preparing to play.  The flags are in readiness for raising.

Your Best Life is just ahead.  Go get it.